Weekly Report 2021 w12
March 22. - March 27.
Word of the Week - You're Not Alone - Friday evening was a fair warning that I alone am responsible for my mental health from one side, and a friendly reminder from another, that whatever's going on, there are people around me I can rely on when things are bumpy - or just appear to be.
Last week was immensely intense from the viewpoint of the things to be done versus the time available. I was worried I'm getting myself into another burnout so I took it just hard enough to not bust myself up but to get as much done as I can. It felt like I succeeded in that, so I was caught off-guard when on Friday evening I had a feeling trying to creep up on me I haven't had in around 3 years.
It's the sudden unfounded fear of being in immediate danger. I'm in the field of work where I will not be able to justify panic attacks even in situations that will present themselves as ten times as stressful as my last week was, so I will need to organize myself in a way where I'll always have at least the oversight, if not control (which I inevitably a lot of time will not have) over what's going on. The panic attack did not get to properly start, but it was a fair warning to me, to get a proper break. I have my girlfriend Nadja to thank that she helped me to overcome this situation by reminding me that in fact, the feeling is not real when I was way too deep in my head with worries.
I'm one week away from the closure of Q1 2021, and over that one, I intend to wrap up as much of the client work as possible (I'm finishing two projects); and then make a re-evaluation and a new plan for the near future.
I should add: While this report has read as a fairly bumpy ride, I want to assure you, that everything is under control.
Some tranquility would be nice. Here’s a photo from the last filming session.
Lessons:
- I knew that I'm not entirely mentally OK over the last week, but I also keep my promises. How I go about both keeping promises and keeping 'a promise' to myself to keep mental health in check is something I will need to address in the Q2 2021
- When I'm in the right state of mind, I can still be productive even when things are otherwise overwhelming, as it's been proven on the filming. A lovely bonus to have, but I should never count on that. It should be kept as a bonus, not a feature.
- I can count on people to be my support, just as much as they can count on me to be there for them. In the end, we live and work in a world of Human, we should behave and expect it to work.